100 Rules of Happiness: Rule 81

Relook at your beliefs about love 

Love does not always come with red roses and mushiness. Yet, it does come to you almost everyday. You simply don’t recognise it as it’s not always romantic love, nor always from the person you expect it from. Often it may not even match the definition you have set in your head. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there. When a parent worries for you, a friend pushes you to leave a bad relationship, another pushes you to reach your potential, yet another tells you an uncomfortable truth about yourself—they are all engaging in acts of love. Notice them, acknowledge them and appreciate the love around you, in every form and from every source. That will soon bring a lot more joy and connectedness, and you’ll realise that you have a lot more than you ever truly knew.  

Photo: Carmen Eisbär

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100 Rules of Happiness: Rule 80

Recognise the love you’re NOT giving

We are all so busy noticing what we are not getting from others that we forget to examine what we are not giving. If you are unhappy about people not keeping in touch or calling, first ask yourself if you are keeping in touch with them. If you want them to be more involved, helpful and participative in your life, then you must be the same way with them. You can’t miss all of your friend’s birthdays and still expect them to show up for yours. Give others what you want to receive from them, be it love, praise, comfort, help or company. Create a two-way flow by recognising and giving all that you are holding back. 

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100 Rules of Happiness: Rule 79

Initiate meaningful conversations.

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone? More often than not, people land up making conversations about mundane stuff, gossip or things they can’t even remember. So while you don’t need to make each conversation deep and insightful, you must have adequate meaningful conversations with everyone you share  a relationship with. Truly get to “know” the people you interact with .  Ask them about their lives and listen fully to what they are saying. Appreciate their sharing, ask the right questions, show genuine interest and keep the exchange authentic. Some may be more reserved than others, but keep trying because meaningful conversations are the key to meaningful relationships. And do keep in mind that texting, taking calls and being distracted during in conversation that you are trying to make meaningful, is a complete no-no!

Photo:John Benson

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